Tuesday, December 23, 2008

my Dad


Today is my Dad's birthday. He would have been 65.

It's been 10 years since Dad passed away, after a long battle with Motor Neurone Disease.

If I'm really honest, I'd say I'm still coming to terms with it.

With his birthday being so close to Christmas, it's always a double-whammy. I'd give anything to give him a big hug and wish him a Happy Birthday, or to sit and have a beer with him in the backyard after Christmas lunch.

I'd give even more to watch him with Lily, the granddaughter he never met, because they would have adored each other, I'm sure.

sorry to be less than chipper today, but I know there's others out there for whom this time is also hard and sometimes it helps just a bit to speak about it...

14 comments:

Bells said...

You go right ahead and be less than chipper. If there's a good reason to feel that way, this is one of them. Hugs. xo

Live 2 Knit said...

It can be such a bitter sweet time of year, {hugs}

Rose Red said...

It's a great picture - I bet you treasure that. I've got so few of me with my dad.

Hope you are doing ok today - hugs and hope you have a good Christmas.

Gracia said...

That is such a beautiful photograph... thanks for sharing it.

To know that he would have been 63 today and enjoying a laugh with you and your fam in the yard... I don't think one can ever come to terms with such things.

big hugs to you and your Lily,
g xo

louise said...

Dearest Kylie,

What a lovely photo. I'm sure your dad's still looking out for you. I never had the pleasure of getting to know him, but I'm sure he'd adore Lily too.

Big hugs from me, dear friend. xo lj

Donna (Random Knits) said...

I know exactly how you feel. And Christmas doesn't have to be, or need to be all happy. It's the perfect time to think of those we've loved and lost, and who we'd like to have with us.

Jenny said...

I feel that same way this time of year. My dad would have been 66 this year and he died 12 years ago. I still feel ripped off and wish he could see my girls. He would have loved them too.
You are not alone, give everyone you have left a big hug and Merry Christmas.

kgirl said...

thank you all - your kind words and thoughts have been so touching and helpful.

Merry Christmas to you all xx K

PrincessPea said...

What a beautiful photograph.

My parents are both still here, but my grandmother (who I was closer to than my mother) died almost 30 years ago, and I still miss her, especially at this time of year. Nobody did Christmas quite like she did.

Hugs x

knititch said...

my dad died at the ripe age of 83 this spring. it is weird having to spend the first christmas without him esp. since he always did a few thing that became rituals. like singing miss otis regrets. weird christmas tradition but nevertheless. and i understand that you are sad your lily and your dad never got to meet.

but i hope that you will spend christmas on a much brighter note anyway.

merry christmas.

sue said...

Lovely photo. I sort of know how you feel as my FIL's birthday is boxing day and he would have been 61 this year. He passed in 2003 and didnt really get to know my daughter but he did love her a lot. My son misses him greatly and he was a fantastic dad and grandfather. I do hope that one day the pain eases for you but I am sure it takes a very long time.

katiecrackernuts said...

I am very lucky to have both my folks, who will arrive tonight for Christmas Eve - despite the fact they're already fighting about it (I got calls from both of them yesterday and they are, might I add, living in the same house and still, er, happily married.) I agree with Rose Red. That's a lovely photo and better yet, I am sure there are wonderful memories. All those are still very, very much alive. Treasure them and rejoice in those. Share them with your family as you come together for Christmas this year and in years to come. Thinking of you, Kate.

Susan said...

I know exactly how you feel. My mum died nearly 16 years ago. I still weep. I miss her every single day.

Kate said...

My dad committed suicide just before christmas last year. Between his birthday and mine, both of which are in that week before christmas.

December is going to SUCK. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the same - I'm going to be missing him forever. There are always going to be a million little things that make me think 'Tim would love that' or 'I wish he was here, he'd know what to say'.

And every time I have any life event, no matter how small, I'm going to wish he could share it with me.

Sorry, I know this is out of context for you, but I just found your blog and I'm reading through the archives. This week has been hard, for some reason (sometimes there's a reason, sometimes it just sucks. Because.) and your post really rung true for me. I'm both happy and sad that I'm going to be missing him for the rest of my life.